Monday, 3 December 2012

Love and Loss and Chinese Politics.

You'll notice, if you have read any of my previous work, that I tend to write about human emotions. Love and loss are my favourite subjects. They fascinate me, because really, I am torn between not understanding them enough and feeling like I understand them too much.

However, sometimes I do write about other things. I was fascinated earlier in the year by a slice of Chinese history. I won't go into it in detail here, but I was reading a lot about the Great Leap Forward and the Four Pests Campaign initiated by Mao Zedong. The idea was that there were four key pests who ate the grain that the Chinese labourers worked hard to farm and harvest - flies, mosquitos, rats and sparrows - and that by eradicating these, the nation would be better off. Unfortunately the plan kinda backfired, as by killing the majority of the sparrow population, the insects that they fed upon, including locusts, went through a huge population explosion, leading to a terrible ecological imbalance. This in turn contributed to the Great Chinese Famine in which 30 million people died.



Everyone, Come and Fight Sparrows

They are the enemy, picking at the grain.
The grain so scarce,
Our population so great.
We are at war, everyone, come and fight.
The boys with their stones
And slingshots, popping and snapping
Knocking them spinning down,
And men with their guns,
Decimating, the feathers falling.

Out in the streets
We bang pots and pans,
We hammer on drums,
And the birds circle in the sky,
Stranded.
Too scared to land
Until they fall, exhausted, 
To the ground.
And we have won.

Tear down their nests.
Climb trees and take eggs.
Smash them, grab the nestlings
And crush them.
Be a good soldier 
In this war against pests.
There will be rewards for those
Who kill the most;
Awards and recognition.
And we have won.

The evil dirt brown birds
Driven close to extinction.
The grain safe from their
Greedy, snapping beaks.
They are gone.

Out in the streets
We celebrate.
We bang on our drums and
No more birds circle in the sky.
Now locusts swarm our land.
The food of the birds
Now uncontrolled.
Their population so great.

Our harvest has been exceptional,
Tell them that in the cities.
Our campaign was a success.
We have won.
We fought the sparrows,
We were the victors.
But the farmers were taken
To work in the cities
And the locusts have eaten our crops.

They are they enemy, devouring our grain.
The grain so plentiful.
Yet no one to harvest it.
Our ally, the sparrows,
Are gone. 

The cities take the grain
That we have managed to save
And ship it to Africa, to Cuba,
While we starve in our villages
Out in the hills.
Away from the public eye.
The propaganda sells our success
Because we have won.

More locusts, then more,
An explosion of population so great.
We poison and spread our pesticides
And hear the earth sigh
As thirty million die.
Our pots and pans empty
Have we won?

Monday, 26 November 2012

What you wish for.

Tonight's subject is "be careful what you wish for".

Growing up, I remember wishing that I was older, that I knew more, that I could do all of the things that I was "too young" for. Now, especially as Christmas draws closer, I think back to those days of innocence and wish that I could see the sparkles and magic through less jaded eyes.

I still believe in Father Christmas, of course...

Jayney x



Twinkle Twinkle

As a child I watched the stars
Wondering just what they are.
Up above the world they shine
Granting wishes from on high.
Twinkle Twinkle little star,
Grant my wish, tell me what you are.

Twinkle twinkle, then I saw
A light from ancient times, no more.
Not up above, but out in space.
Out of time, and out of place.
Supernova, dying star,
Now I know just what you are.

Wednesday, 21 November 2012

Novels and Poems

I've been busily writing my follow up novel, working title "Derelict". When people ask me how long it took me to write "Charcoal" the answer varies between "2 years", which is the timespan from actually starting writing to finishing the final draft, to "all my life". This is, in many ways, true. I am hopeful that Derelict will not take quite as long to complete!

This month sees the publication of one of my poems "Jubilee Memories" in an anthology from Forward Poetry. Amazingly, it has a jubilee theme - although the celebrations seem like a long time ago now.

I have a different poem for you today, based on one too many visits to soft play areas.

Sunday Dads

All the kids in the cage
Whilst the Sunday dads sit down
Drinking tea, reading the paper,
Looking everywhere but
At the two mewling boys
They brought with them.
Stood, finger-gripping 
The netted enclosure,
Everything padded and safe.
"Dad!" A shout. "Watch me!"
And reluctantly they look up
From their papers to see 
nothing special.
Once a week, this routine:
Kids in their scruffs, and 
Dads in their bests.
Letting the mums know 
They're doing ok. That
Everything's fine (now).
Down the wavy slide
And up the padded path.
"I've had an accident in the ball pool"
Is covered up by the statement
That it's time to go home. 

Monday, 5 November 2012

Fire Night and Fireflies

Life has been busy, and although I have been writing, I haven't been updating this blog nearly enough.

Work on the second novel is coming along well though, despite life trying to get in the way.

As it is November 5th - Bonfire Night - the subject for the writing group tonight was fire. Here's what I made of that.

Fireflies make it look easy

You and I and the fireflies,
Near exhausted, nearing the end.
Alone in warm summer darkness
We sat beneath a canopy of ghostly pine,
Unseen, but scenting the air green.
You built a fire
From logs too thick, too wet,
Too sticky-fresh with sap to burn
And I watched the sparks fly
And fade.
Each danced for a moment
In a dervish whirl of orange.
Too soon, their time over, extinguished,
Spinning back to blackness.
You were shadow; I was silent.
Though we tried to make flames,
To ignite whatever we could find,
Whatever was left,
We failed.

Tuesday, 18 September 2012

Free download of Charcoal!

If you haven't already downloaded my novel, Charcoal, you can get it for FREE from Amazon today and tomorrow (18th and 19th September).

The link to download is:

UK readers: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Charcoal-ebook/dp/B008FKBUJW

US readers: http://www.amazon.com/Charcoal-ebook/dp/B008FKBUJW

Please share the links with your friends and enjoy!

You don't need a Kindle to download it - you can get a free app for the PC or for iPod/iPad/iPhone etc.

Wednesday, 12 September 2012

I still haven't found what I'm looking for.

Tonight I have been searching for something that I couldn't find. I thought I knew where I had put it...but apparently not! What it was is irrelevant, because I found some of my notebooks, and I thought I would share a couple of poems with you.

Would Like To Meet

Thank you for your message,
I'm pleased you like my 'pics'.
I've only just joined up here
And so far it's been quite....
An experience.

Yes, I'm into music
With quite eclectic taste -
You want to see more photos,
To see more than just my face?

First please tell me some more
About the things you do -
I don't want to see your six pack,
I'm not interested, thank you.

There'll be no naked photos
I'm not looking for that.
I've got a degree (I've got three),
A few kids, and some cats.

Sorry if that puts you off,
I'm not sure that we're matched.
I'm looking for intelligence
And opposites don't attract.


Digital

Love used to be kept in a box
Under the bed.
A strip of photographs,
Four white-bordered squares,
Photo booth fun with someone.
Me, looking younger,
Smiling. In love.

Now love is digitalised,
Trapped in a hard drive.
Messages on phone screens
For a month and then
Lost.
Our photographs never printed,
Never touched.

Then, when love is gone,
We click 'delete'
And move on.

Monday, 10 September 2012

Let's write something "happy"

Regular readers of my work may know by now that I am not particularly known for writing cheerful pieces. I'm sure it's not a spoiler for my novel, Charcoal, to say that it's quite a dark story - after all, the blurb starts with "Jess is dead". Never going to be a romantic comedy, that one.

So I was feeling the pressure heading to my writing group tonight in the knowledge that the subject for tonight's writing was going to be something light-hearted. Light-hearted, I do not do. My genre is DARK-hearted.

Of course though, even given the subject of writing a piece about winning the lottery, from a partner's point of view, it doesn't have to have a happy ending.  You can read tonight's writing at the end of this post.

Firstly though, some news! I will be holding another Free Download Day for my novel on Tuesday next week. That will be the 18th September then.

The download link are:
for UK buyers: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Charcoal-ebook/dp/B008FKBUJW/
for US buyers: http://www.amazon.com/Charcoal-ebook/dp/B008FKBUJW/

If you haven't already bought a copy or missed out on the last free download then please get yourself a copy next Tuesday.  If you have read and enjoyed it already, then please share the links with your family, friends, followers, or anyone else that you think would like a free download.

Thank you!  Here's tonight's writing...

Not Forever

They say it's life changing, a lottery win. I used to think that it was impossible, but no. Again, I was wrong, and it was just improbable.  I stopped buying my weekly ticket years ago.  Once a week was manageable, a tax on the blindly optimistic maybe, but just one pound every seven days was fine. Then they started with their Thunderballs and bi-weekly draws, Eurowhatsits and, well, it was all too much. I gave up, as is my way. But Georgie, well, he never did.

I gave up on lots of things, over the years. We've been through our ups and downs, more of the downs than the ups, it has to be said. In and out of bad jobs, just about scraping by. We were neither of us ever meant for anything bigger or better than we had.

For a long time, all that we did have was each other. When we were working, that seemed to take over our lives and "us" was just a hobby that we sometimes, rarely, got to partake of.  Georgie got lucky though, he always had the best of that. He got a job at the fruit machine factory that seemed almost secure. Long hours, not quite decent money, but for what it was, it was something. It was enough.

"It's not forever," he said.

He was always looking towards the future, always optimistic, always positive. But a part of me hoped that it was forever. I'd become used to us passing each other by, him heading out of the house as I arrived home. The more time that we spent together, the more I tired of him.

I had signed up to a temping agency, with high hopes of becoming a PA to some top executive. Instead all I got was filing, typing, and a slap on the arse from some suited prick. Not quite what I had dreamed of, but is life ever what anyone dreams it will be?

"It's not forever," Georgie said, when I told him about the sleazeball who called me into his office, and then had me sit there and do nothing, just so that he could leer at me.

"I hope not," I replied, but I didn't mean just that incident, I meant everything. I hoped that none of it would be forever, the way that my life was then. I wanted change.

And, of course, things do change.  I was in that company, paid for my time and not for my skills, wasting my hours and their measly money, for only a month. Holiday cover, that was all, and then I was moved on.  Looking back, things would have been very different if I had stayed. In the next organisation, there was no sleazy suitman, but there was Alex.

I was used to being treated as a temporary inconvenience, being looked down upon and walked over, but Alex, well, he was different. You can guess what happens with a woman, unhappy in her life, meets someone that finally shows her some respect, and gives her some attention.

I was ready to leave Georgie, to tell him that this life of long hours, passing in the hallway, always hoping that it wouldn't be forever, that it wasn't enough. I was ready to tell him that I wanted out, but then, the improbable happened. The numbers came up, and that life changing moment happened.

Georgie ran into the lounge, Friday night, when he was meant to be at work until the early hours of Saturday morning. He was laughing and crying and I couldn't even work out what he was trying to say at first. Then I saw it in his hand, he was waving that pink-red ticket, and I knew. I knew that he had been right all along.

"We've won," he said in a gasping heavy burst.

I scrunched my eyes up, trying to block it out, trying to wish him away, but the world shifted to slow motion. I knew what was coming next. I didn't have to think of what to say, or how to react because there, coming down the stairs was the life changing moment. Alex, half dressed, but still smart, sophisticated, solvent; everything that I had wanted.

Georgie's face changed in a flash. He had gone from being a man who had everything to a man who had come home from work to find his wife had been sleeping with her boss.

And all I could think of to say was,

"It's not forever."